I’ve always been searching for answers and alternatives to what I have in front of me. I’m perpetually unconvinced with the world, with my existence. Time and again I ask the eternal, ‘Why?’… The answer remains elusive.
Occasionally, I glimpse a fleeting transient light as it speeds across my vision, a nano-second thought, untouchable. A thought about the universe. What is this light that traverses my consciousness, leaving only a shadow trace? I contemplate what it could be.
I watch a program on the box, an actor sneezes as my neighbour arrives at his door, and I hear him sneeze a moment later. I read a magazine and my eyes scan the sentence with ‘green tree’ as a song on the radio in the background echoes the same phrase. I pour a cup of coffee and the Dj says ‘pour yourself a cup of coffee’. I sit in my car at the traffic lights and stare at a billboard with the picture of a fire engine, a fire engine crosses my view. Daily syncs, meaningless yet full of wonder.
As life’s events continue to conspire to destroy my sense of peaceful cluelessness, a realisation begins to manifest. IS the universe trying to communicate with me? ‘Are you talking to me?’ I ask in my best De Niroesque voice.
Throughout the Christmas period and New Year I kept coming across references to Genoa, and to Costa, either the coffee or a person named Costa. I was eating Genoa cake, reading a travel review about Genoa or being given a Genoa cake recipe. I began to wonder why so many people are called Costa and why I found myself constantly sitting in a coffee shop with the same name. I questioned the idea that I might be making a Genoa cake instead of the usual Mocha. Then the Costa Concordia struck rocks off the Genoa coast. That’s a mighty disturbing coincidence I thought.
It may be simply another one of those meaningless syncs that fill-up the day, but still weird none-the-less. The idea that there is any connection between my eating and drinking habits and a disaster off the coast of Italy is quite simply ridiculous. Isn’t it?
This week I was supposed to be trekking around Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, on a work team-building event. Instead I found myself hooked up to a ventilator in a local hospital trying to catch my breath after suffering a life-threatening asthma attack. I haven’t had asthma in ten years and a day before I am due to fly I collapse after a series of unfortunate events.
Finally back at home, I get cosy with my hot-water bottle as I settle to watch a DVD, only to find constant references to the Kuala Lumpur Transport Department. I decide to cook myself something and open the cupboard to spot a Laksa Curry sauce packet which I refuse to open. I can now hear the Universe mumbling something at me.
Perhaps there is a message coming through the ether. That’s not a question, just a statement of possibility. I’ve stopped talking so much now. Being unable to breath helps a lot with this. Now I’ve made a conscious decision to stop asking ‘Why?’ Instead, I am just simply… listening.
I have written for the culture, entertainment, and travel sectors, both on-line and in the local press.
For over twenty years my day-job consisted of slugging away, making other people rich, in the world's most ruthless, yet strangely boring and inept corporate finance environments. That includes international banking, new-IT, and advertising.
As freelance writer, and critic, in my spare time, I help run a workshop for local writers. I am still writing the on-line movie review blog ‘Celluloid Seduction’, hanging around a lot of the entertainment sites in the process.
After the devastating and unsolved death of my younger brother on 09/09/1994, I now attempt to exorcise feelings of powerlessness, and loss, that plague my psyche, by creating modern literal performance poetry, using traditional rhythmic forms, following in the footsteps of my late grandfather, the Cypriot 'Red Village' poet 'Vasilis'.
I have many interests including the cinema, music, writing of all kinds, political and religious debate, new and weird science and the occult, plus a lot of other things that just don't fit in this box.
This blog is full of memories and opinion and observations. Feel free to quote me, but please respect me enough to credit 'Marie from Cyprus' on anything you repeat.
Thanks for dropping by!
The identities of persons involved have been intentionally kept, but in some paragraphs they are omitted for legal reasons. No offense. If you feel there is an inaccuracy, please contact me and we can discuss what it is that you believe is not true about these accounts. Don't try to sue me, I have no money or assets, the international corp. bankers I use to work for made sure of that!